Starting to feel better

Well I know it’s been a long time since I have written. I apologize to you all. I was in a depression for a long time because of many issues. Mostly involving freedom. On Monday, I was considered officially seizure-free for six months. So now I am able to drive on my own. I do not need to be driven around anymore. Sometimes this is a freedom that people take for granted. I don’t. I am very grateful to be able to drive by myself. Next week I am going down to visit one of my best friends and I am so excited. Life is looking up for me in certain areas. All though in the weight loss area I am still having trouble. I am looking forward and trying to keep positive. I’m happy and this is the happiest I have been for a while. I will update soon.

Serenity

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It’s been a long time

Hello everyone,

I usually don’t stay away from my blogs this long, however, I have had a serious bout of depression and I just haven’t had interested in updating. Over the past month I have gained weight and my headaches have returned. I have had to use ice packs again. However, my depression is keeping me weighed down and I just don’t seem to want to do anything that I have wanted to do in the past. On the upside, I saw my headache specialist and she got me approved for botox shots. So I am calling tomorrow for an appointment for the botox shots for my migraines.

Today, I visited both a psychiatrist and a social therapist. The psychiatrist has upped my dose on my depression medicine to help with energy. I am seeing the social therapist again within two weeks. Hopefully, something will come of it. Lately, I just can’t help but feel sad and depressed. I’m just trying to deal with it everyday and it is very hard to do.

I’m sorry for the long update. I will talk soon.

Sick, depressed, and busy

I haven’t updated in a while and I apologize. There has been a lot running through my mind. This week, on Monday, I saw the neuropsychologist and a lot of what he said didn’t resonate with me and it made me feel depressed and hopeless. He said that my left brain had been affected and that the language and spatial capabilities are below average. He also told me that my driving capabilities might have been affected during these last two seizures which they weren’t. How do I know? I had got really upset with my father and took my car out up the street, nothing changed. I know that he knows what he is talking about, but I feel that I can prove these people wrong. I feel that I am back in elementary school where the teachers are calling me dumb. And I know this guy isn’t, but that’s how I feel.

On top of this, I got sick from my father the other day. Today, my nephew comes over for the night, which is going to be nice. It has been a long while since we have had him over. We just get to see him two times a week. So it’s nice to have him over, but I have to be careful with being sick still. I’m better, but it’s lingering.

Lately, I honestly have felt trapped in my feelings of depression and anger and sadness. I just don’t know what to do. I was finally able to draw again. Which it has been months. I’m getting excited about a few things, but I just still feel caught. I hate feeling this way and I hope I will get out of it soon. Anyway, that is what is going on now.

Serenity

Depressed

Well I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. Usually in the middle of the month I have some trouble with depression. Yesterday I went to my neuropsychology appointment. It started from 8:30 till about 3:00 with a break of about an hour for lunch. It was tough. We played memory games that had my brain working hard. I won’t know what my results are till we go back in on the 12th of June.

But anyway, back to the depression. I’ve just been feeling terrible lately. Some people think that you just can pick yourself up and go on. Or that it will disappear or that your lazy. Or maybe trying to get attention. I just can’t seem to get going. That’s how I feel anymore. I’m not excited about the things that I usually love to do and I find that I sleep to much or too little. I’ve got 14 days till my birthday and I am excited about that, but I’m just feeling so depressed anymore. I hope this feeling disappears. Anyway, talk soon.